By Rosemary Conte
originally published: 11/21/2015
Another gift
I’ve gotta buy
A holiday grab bag
For girl or a guy
Another season
Another reason for makin’-- fruitcake
Nobody eats it
It’s hard to digest
It plugs up your plumbing
And you know the rest
It’s not uplifting
It’s good for re-gifting
The holiday fruitcake.
(bridge or middle section)
A di-a-mond is for-ever
A fruitcake is too, I fear
If I give someone a fruitcake
I may get it back next year
Send all the fruitcake
In drones to Iraq
Going that far
I won’t get mine back
Save ammunition
Attack with nutrition
Bomb ‘em with fruitcake
(melody back to very top!)
Advertise with New Jersey Stage for $50-$100 per month, click here for info
Please, Governor Christie!
Use that veto power
Cuz you don’t like fruitcakes
I know you won’t cower
In a war of attrition
Create jobs in the kitchen
Makin’ the fruitcake
It’s hard and it’s heavy
When it lands it explodes
No mortar, no shrapnel
Just raisins and cloves
War could be easy
And cleaning up breezy
Hit ‘em with fruitcake
(bridge or middle section)
Make all the Middle East
Safe for De-mo-ra-cy
Picture the Fox News headline:
“U.S. Constipates Enemy!”
This humble bread
Of fruit and flour
Could fin’ly have
Its shining hour
With a new purpose
It could resurface
As a recruit cake!
(Oh, yeahhhhh!)
(Tag with a big finish!)
Just wrap it in foil
(da da da da!)
It ain’t gonna spoil “ “
It’s dark and it’s rich “ “
Like Arabian oil “ “
I’m a pa-tri-ot who “ ”
Has altered her view ‘’ “
Hurray for fruitcaaaaaaaaaaaake!
(Boom! Boom!)
FEATURED EVENTS
JD Souther
Thursday, May 02, 2024 @ 7:30pm
The Vogel
99 Monmouth Street, Red Bank, NJ 07701
category: music
Click here for full description
Todd Rundgren: ME/WE
Thursday, May 02, 2024 @ 7:00pm
Bergen Performing Arts Center (bergenPAC)
30 North Van Brunt Street, Englewood, NJ 07631
category: music
Click here for full description
TAIKOPROJECT
Thursday, May 02, 2024 @ 7:00pm
Mayo Performing Arts Center (MPAC)
100 South Street, Morristown, NJ 07960
category: music
Click here for full description
Click here for more events
Listings are available for $10 and included with our banner ad packages.
Click here for more info.
LATEST NEWS
An Interview with Jim Loughlin of moe.
On Thursday, July 4, 2024, moe. will be returning to the Stone Pony in Asbury Park, NJ. Joining them will be summer tour collaborators, Daniel Donato's Cosmic Country and Neighbor. To celebrate the return of moe. for the 50th anniversary of the Stone Pony, I was able to catch up with Jim Loughlin (percussionist/Swiss army knife) and relive the glory days of past performances at the Jersey Shore while discussing the current state of the band.
English Opera "Dido and Aeneas" to be performed in Morristown
State Theatre New Jersey presents YES Epics & Classics featuring Jon Anderson and The Band Geeks
Roy's Hall presents Kalos
Click here for more event previews
New Jersey Stage
© 2024 by Wine Time Media, LLC
PO Box 811, Belmar, NJ 07719
info@newjerseystage.com
Nobody covers the Arts
throughout the Garden State
like New Jersey Stage!