New Jersey Stage
New Jersey Stage on social media


For great Jersey music and much more, tune into our radio station at AsburyMusic.com

INSIDE MUSIC: A Pair Of Holiday Songs

By Rosemary Conte

INSIDE MUSIC: A Pair Of Holiday Songs

What to Do with A Holiday Tradition

(Sing to the tune of “Makin’ Whoopee”)

           (Verse)

Christmas is over. Resolutions are done.

Released all my guilt. Except for just one.



The article continues after this ad

 


In a world where there’s hunger, I threw in the dumpster,

A WallMart  Fruitcake.

 

Nobody likes it. It’s hard to digest

It plugs up your plumbing. And you know the rest.

It’s not uplifting. It’s for re-gifting, 

Department store fruitcake.

              (Chorus)

INSIDE MUSIC: A Pair Of Holiday SongsA di-a-mond is for-ever. A fruitcake is too, I fear.

If I gave someone that fruitcake, I might get it back next year.

              (Verse)

Keep it in foil. It ain’t gonna spoil,

It’s dark and it’s rich, like Iranian oil 

My guilt is ending. An idea is blending.

For using Fruitcake.

 

Send all the fruitcake, off to Iraq

Going that far, we won’t get it back.

A drone for the mission, with Trump’s permission, 

To bomb with fruitcake.

                (Chorus)

We’ll  make the Middle East, safe for Democra-cy

Picture the world-wide headlines: “U.S. constipates enemy”

                (Verse)

It’s hard and it’s heavy. It lands and explodes. 

No mortar no shrapnel, just orange peel and cloves.

No collateral damage. That’s an advantage

Of firing Fruitcake

 

Let’s turn it over… to the FDA

To pull it from stores by April or May

Don’t wanna destroy it…just wanna deploy it,

Department store Fruitcake! 

              (Big, Bill Murray lounge singer finish)

That Wal-Mart Fruitcake!



INSIDE MUSIC: A Pair Of Holiday Songs

Civics Song

(Sing to the tune of “Auld Lang Syne”)

 

Should old b’grudges be forgot

And never left to roam

In minds of Trenton politics

In the state that I call home.

 

Oh, legislators we don’t want

Our living costs to climb

Please govern so efficiently 

That I keep the house that’s mine!

 

INSIDE MUSIC: A Pair Of Holiday SongsTo anyone who didn’t show

This past election day

Are you the one who thought your voice

Wouldn’t matter anyway?

 

Well, thanks, my friend if you showed up

At the polling place to vote

Phil Murphy has some work to do

(Cutting taxes seems remote.)

 

He’s gotta get that tunnel dug

From “N” “J” to Gotham town

Then find a way to pay for schools

So our seniors stick around.

 

Be sure to get what you deserve,

Go to council meetings (free)

Speak up about what’s going on 

In your municipality!

 

Happy New Year! 



originally published: 2017-12-25 01:00:00


Features You Might Like

ON THE ROAD: Alice In Chains at Lunatic Luau18 In Virginia Beach

ON THE ROAD: Alice In Chains at Lunatic Luau18 In Virginia Beach

Lunatic Luau18 took place Saturday, May 5th at the Veterans United Home Loans Amphitheater at Virginia Beach, VA.  The festival included performances by Alice in Chains, Stone Sour, Stone Temple Pilots, Bullet For My Valentine, Sevendust, and Tremonti on the Main Stage, and Steel Panther, Popevil, The Sword, Unlocking The Truth, and RVNT on the Side Stage.  Photographer Mischa Linares was on hand to cover the event.  Here are photos of Alice in Chains from the festival.


Willie Nile's Birthday Bash To Take Place At House Of Independents

Willie Nile's Birthday Bash To Take Place At House Of Independents

(ASBURY PARK, NJ) -- No stranger to the Jersey Shore, Willie Nile returns to Asbury Park on Saturday, June 9 for a Rock 'N Roll Birthday Bash at House of Independents. He will be supported by local favorites Colossal Street Jam.  Doors are at 7:00pm. Tickets range from $30 to $60.


Around NY: Bon Jovi at MSG

Around NY: Bon Jovi at MSG

(NEW YORK, NY) -- On Wednesday, May 9th, Bon Jovi headlined a sold out show at Madison Square Garden.  Photographer Debra L. Rothenberg was on hand to capture some shots of the newly inducted member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.


Around NY: Williams Honor At MSG

Around NY: Williams Honor At MSG

(NEW YORK, NY) -- On Wednesday, May 9th, Williams Honor - a band born out of the Jersey Shore and Nashville - got the opportunity to open for Bon Jovi at Madison Square Garden.  Photographer Debra L. Rothenberg was on hand to capture the night.








Event calendar
Monday, May 21, 2018


MUSIC

Happy Mondays @ The Wonder Bar, Asbury Park - 7:00pm

KALI MASI @ The Saint, Asbury Park - 7:00pm

View all events










 
















For more on our awards, click here








New Jersey Stage © 2018 by Wine Time Media, LLC | PO Box 140, Spring Lake, NJ 07762 (732) 280-7625 | info@newjerseystage.com

Images used on this site have been sent to us from publicists, artists, and PR firms.
If there is a problem with the rights to any image, please contact us and we will look into the matter.