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INSIDE MUSIC: A Pair Of Holiday Songs

By Rosemary Conte

INSIDE MUSIC: A Pair Of Holiday Songs

What to Do with A Holiday Tradition

(Sing to the tune of “Makin’ Whoopee”)

           (Verse)

Christmas is over. Resolutions are done.

Released all my guilt. Except for just one.



The article continues after this ad

 


In a world where there’s hunger, I threw in the dumpster,

A WallMart  Fruitcake.

 

Nobody likes it. It’s hard to digest

It plugs up your plumbing. And you know the rest.

It’s not uplifting. It’s for re-gifting, 

Department store fruitcake.

              (Chorus)

INSIDE MUSIC: A Pair Of Holiday SongsA di-a-mond is for-ever. A fruitcake is too, I fear.

If I gave someone that fruitcake, I might get it back next year.

              (Verse)

Keep it in foil. It ain’t gonna spoil,

It’s dark and it’s rich, like Iranian oil 

My guilt is ending. An idea is blending.

For using Fruitcake.

 

Send all the fruitcake, off to Iraq

Going that far, we won’t get it back.

A drone for the mission, with Trump’s permission, 

To bomb with fruitcake.

                (Chorus)

We’ll  make the Middle East, safe for Democra-cy

Picture the world-wide headlines: “U.S. constipates enemy”

                (Verse)

It’s hard and it’s heavy. It lands and explodes. 

No mortar no shrapnel, just orange peel and cloves.

No collateral damage. That’s an advantage

Of firing Fruitcake

 

Let’s turn it over… to the FDA

To pull it from stores by April or May

Don’t wanna destroy it…just wanna deploy it,

Department store Fruitcake! 

              (Big, Bill Murray lounge singer finish)

That Wal-Mart Fruitcake!



INSIDE MUSIC: A Pair Of Holiday Songs

Civics Song

(Sing to the tune of “Auld Lang Syne”)

 

Should old b’grudges be forgot

And never left to roam

In minds of Trenton politics

In the state that I call home.

 

Oh, legislators we don’t want

Our living costs to climb

Please govern so efficiently 

That I keep the house that’s mine!

 

INSIDE MUSIC: A Pair Of Holiday SongsTo anyone who didn’t show

This past election day

Are you the one who thought your voice

Wouldn’t matter anyway?

 

Well, thanks, my friend if you showed up

At the polling place to vote

Phil Murphy has some work to do

(Cutting taxes seems remote.)

 

He’s gotta get that tunnel dug

From “N” “J” to Gotham town

Then find a way to pay for schools

So our seniors stick around.

 

Be sure to get what you deserve,

Go to council meetings (free)

Speak up about what’s going on 

In your municipality!

 

Happy New Year! 



originally published: 2017-12-25 00:00:00


Upcoming Events

James Maddock To Perform At Benefit For Lizzie Rose Music Room

James Maddock To Perform At Benefit For Lizzie Rose Music Room

(TUCKERTON, NJ) -- Singer-songwriter James Maddock will perform at the Lizzie Rose Music Room in Tuckerton on Friday, March 2nd at 7:30pm.  The concert is a benefit for the non-profit listening room that presents a variety of music each month, including blues, jazz, bluegrass, rock, soul, country, and singer-songwriter. Tickets for the benefit concert are $25.00 in advance and $30.00 at the door.


The Nick Moss Band featuring Dennis Gruenling To Celebrate Alligator Records Debut At Roxy & Dukes

The Nick Moss Band featuring Dennis Gruenling To Celebrate Alligator Records Debut At Roxy & Dukes

(DUNELLEN, NJ) -- Chicago blues group, The Nick Moss Band Featuring Dennis Gruenling, celebrate their Alligator Records debut, The High Cost of Low Living, at Roxy & Dukes Roadhouse on Tuesday, March 13 at 8:00pm. The album is a tour de force of the classic Chicago blues ensemble sound that world class guitarist/vocalist Moss and master harmonicist/vocalist Gruenling know, live and love. Tickets are $10 in advance and $15 at the door.


Mayo Presents Marc Cohn with The Blind Boys of Alabama

Mayo Presents Marc Cohn with The Blind Boys of Alabama

(MORRISTOWN, NJ) -- Singer-songwriter Marc Cohn, best known for his megahit "Walking in Memphis," performs at Mayo Performing Arts Center on Friday, March 16 at 8:00pm. Joining him onstage will be the revered gospel group, The Blind Boys of Alabama. Tickets range from $29-69.


Garden State Film Festival To Present The East Coast Premiere of "Making A Killing"

Garden State Film Festival To Present The East Coast Premiere of "Making A Killing"

(ASBURY PARK, NJ) -- The 16th Annual Garden State Film Festival will present the East Coast premiere of "Making A Killing," a new independent feature film from Tinton Falls, New Jersey native Devin Hume (Director/Producer/Co-Writer) and Bruce Robinson (Executive Producer/Producer). Starring Michael Jai White, Mike Starr, Jude Moran, Aida Turturro, New Jersey’s Jack Forcinito with Sally Kirkland and Christopher Lloyd, this twisted modern-day crime mystery BASED ON A TRUE STORY, tells the story of three morticians who get caught in a web of greed and deceit, involving buried treasure and a tangled love affair. 








EVENT CALENDAR
Sunday, Feb 18, 2018

OF MICE & MEN @ The Stone Pony, Asbury Park - 6:00pm

BOYZ II MEN @ Event Center @ Borgata Casino Hotel, Atlantic City - 8:00pm

JAMES KING @ Resorts Casino and Hotel Atlantic City, Atlantic City - 8:00pm

Gobsmacked! @ Mayo Performing Arts Center (MPAC), Morristown - 7:00pm

HOT LATIN NIGHTS WITH THE MAMBO KINGS NEW JERSEY SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA @ State Theatre New Jersey, New Brunswick - 3:00pm






G3 2018: Joe Satriani, John Petrucci, Phil Collen @ Prudential Hall @ New Jersey Performing Arts Center (NJPAC), Newark - 7:00pm

LESS THAN JAKE & FOUR YEAR STRONG @ Starland Ballroom, Sayreville - 6:30pm

Blues in the Loft: Hat City 2nd Annual Blues Challenge @ South Orange Performing Arts Center (SOPAC), South Orange - 7:00pm


Gathering Time to play at Riverside Rhythm and Rhyme @ Investor's Bank Theater @ RoxPAC, Succasunna - 4:00pm



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